A Full Heart.

I am not even sure what I want to say in this post, but I feel like saying something..mainly for myself. Yesterday was our ward conference and we talked about prophets a lot in relief society. Not just prophets but our testimonies in prophets. A couple of stories were mentioned about converts who had the hardest time excepting Joseph Smith and not only that but believing that there is a living prophet on the earth today. The person giving the lesson asked us to think why people would struggle with that. He also asked us to think about how we gained our own testimony on the prophet. I remember going to conference the first time that President Monson had been called to be our next prophet. It was weird to think of him being our new prophet. It kind of made me think a little. I didn't NOT believe, but I did have questions. As he walked out into the conference room and we all stood, I can not describe the STRONG spirit that was felt at that time that overcame my entire body. There was no question that that man standing before me was a  true prophet called of God on this earth today. I am SO glad I attended that session because of how much my testimony was strengthened.

During the lesson we also talked about keeping our testimony strong. He challenged us to read the 5 conference talks from President Monson and to pray about them. If we have a good feeling, it will obviously be a witness to us that the things he has said to us our true and we need to live our lives accordingly. 
So, during Nixon's nap time today I decided I'd make the most out of it. I listened to those talks and I listened and am still listening to different church music online. That is what led me to this post now...because I feel SO good and my heart is so full! I am happy!!! It makes me wonder WHY I struggle with my scripture study and why I don't always put the lord first and try to keep the spirit with me all day everyday. I am crazy!!!

Just from the 2 hours that I have been sitting on my bed listening to music and conference talks my mood has changed 100%. Like I said before, I feel SO happy and so good! How can this not be a true church? How can I feel this way and deny or question? I can't! I am SO thankful for the Gospel. I am so thankful for President Monson and I am also so so so thankful for our Savior and his atoning sacrifice. I am SO thankful. I have made some big mistakes in my life. It is very clear to me that without Christ and suffering for my sins I would not be where I am today. I would not be sealed to the two people that matter most to me in this life. It seriously hurts me to think of me NOT being sealed to Conner and Nixon. Yesterday I was thinking about the day that we got sealed. It was the best day of my life. A year previous when Conner and I got married it was great and happy, but it wasn't complete. The hole wasn't filled. For a year we lived our lives with an empty feeling that needed to be filled desperately. It saddens me knowing that we went 7 months without being sealed to our son. Because of that, I am so thankful for repentance and thankful that we were able to make that step to be sealed as a family. I hope that I can always remember that day. Always remember Nixon being dressed in white as he was wheeled to us in an all white stroller. I can't even describe how I felt when I saw him enter into the celestial room. Our hole was filled, the empty feeling had vanished.

I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I love it SO much. I am so thankful for our leaders, for my teachers, and for all of those people who have help strengthened my testimony although you may not even have realized you have.

I loved what President Monson said in one of his conference talks, it sums it up perfectly in my opinion...

We live in a troubled world, a world of many challenges. We are here on this earth to deal with our individual challenges to the best of our ability, to learn from them, and to overcome them. Endure to the end we must, for our goal is eternal life in the presence of our Father in Heaven. He loves us and wants nothing more than for us to succeed in this goal. He will help us and bless us as we call upon Him in our prayers, as we study His words, and as we obey His commandments.